You know that you’re a together sister. Right? Some of you accepted this fact long ago, but a few are still in denial.

Think about your favorite together sisters—the ones you know and the ones you don’t. What do you admire about them? Why? What do you see in them that you also see in yourself? You probably have more in common than you had imagined even if you’re at different points on the spectrum.

What are your gifts and talents? What do you love about yourself? What do others love about you? Think about the compliments, big ups, high fives and pats on the backs you receive—or should receive.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the full extent of our gifts and talents. Far too often we over ook them or take them for granted; far too often others do the same. Instead of praise, we may hear silence or criticism or confusion. I remember being praised for my writing or editing skills, but then being told that I wasn’t all that — in the same time period, in the same place, almost in the same breath. How could I be both, I wondered? Who’s right?

Now, according to my parents, Carmelie Jordan and the late William Rice, I could do anything and be anything. Like many parents, they’ve admittedly been biased with this loving tendency to make me larger than life. Still, when I hear silence or criticism or confusion, I listen to those on my friends and family plan as well as my inner voice. That’s what keeps me (mostly) together. That’s also what keeps me in check and grounded.

While it’s important to be your strongest cheerleader and surround yourself with positive people, don’t ignore the downside. Don’t just get mad when you hear silence or criticism or confusion; sift through it all to find the kernels of truth. What are the lessons you can learn about yourself to truly be a together sister? How can you turn weaknesses into strengths?

I recently spent a relaxing weekend with some together sisters at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. A few shared how they used yoga to overcome challenges, rise up from life’s downs and turn weaknesses into strengths. They listened to the voices inside and all around. They held up the mirror and took a good look at themselves. They came up with a plan. They focused on what brings them joy—what keeps them together. One shared her excitement of coming full circle and how she plans to use lessons from previous jobs toward her original passion.

What can you learn from your situations? What will help you feel like a together sister again? Don’t be afraid to seek help, especially professional counseling or the sage advice of a spiritual leader, especially with everything going on in the world. Too many of us are walking around wounded by the loss of love, loved ones, jobs and homes. Too many of us are weepy, overweight or under weight, sleep-deprived, cranky, stressed out, depressed or even downright, bitchy.

Tamala Jones, this month’s cover girl, shares how she wasn’t so nice, once upon a time. She also shares how she coped with a triple play of terrifying experiences. Like many together sisters, she’s used her personal trials and triumphs to help others. And speaking of help, together sisters know that they really can’t do it all. So heed the advice in the Real Issues, Real Answers section: even Wonder Woman called on her Super Friends from time to time. Together sisters understand what it takes to keep it together.

From my heart to yours,

Yanick Rice Lamb

yricelamb@heartandsoul.com