Children and Family Finances
Q: How do I talk to my children (all younger than age 10) about what’s going on with the family finances? My husband and I are stressed by this situation, and the children know something is wrong. How much information is too much?
A: Our financial problems can influence how our children view money in the future if they realize the tension in the household. Several recent studies have also pointed to adverse emotional and social effects on children in families stressed by financial woes, especially if there is turmoil about the situation. This is particularly acute, researchers say, in families where the father has been laid off.
So what should you do? First, we all need to realize that we can’t love anything that can’t love us back. Money is just currency, and you and your family determine where it flows. The way the family handles hard economic times will only make you stronger. Please know that the old cliche tough times don’t always last, but tough families do really rings true.
Instead of being stressed, sit down the the family and make a plan. Track your spending, get rid of bills you don’t really need (i.e., cable) and allow your money to serve your family.
Let your children know you are in control. Teach them how to deal with change. (Note: Children often handle change better than we expect.) Since finances can affect where and how you live as a family, you must teach your family the difference between a house and a home. It takes a family to make a house a home, so it doesn’t matter where or how you live as long as you are together.
You and your husband should be calm and open, and show your children you have faith, control and a plan. They may be too young to understand the details of the family’s budget, but they can understand everyone has to live with less. Teach them how to determine “needs” versus “wants.” Finally, let them know that this, too, shall pass.
Gail Perry-Mason is co-author of Girl, Make Your Money Grow!
