Building Strength
Strong black women — that’s a common description for us. Where does it come from, and how do we keep our strength strong? For me, it can be summed up in a passage from Exodus 15:2, “the Lord is my strength and song.” I also draw on the strength of my family, friends, character and reputation. People who know me believe that my word is bond. The strength of my character and reputation helped members of the public believe that a past business venture would do right by them even when they leery of one or more of the owners.
Sometimes, however, my strength falters. I can unintentionally fall short, because of brain overload (OK, my memory), multitasking, procrastination, or the highs and lows of life. The past year has shaken my strength, but not my faith. I’ve leaned on family, friends and faith to endure everything from the loss of my father to the ripple effects of the economy. What I’ve experienced is nothing compared to what some of you are facing. What’s the source of your strength? What are you doing to grow stronger?
First of all, know this: You’re stronger than you think. The same is true for Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins of TLC, who bounced back from a brain tumor and other trials, as well as other sisters featured in our latest issue. “After a lot of work,” one woman shared, “I’ve figured out how to be my own armor.” In the past, her boyfriend had been her “armor against the world.” Without him as a buffer, she didn’t feel so strong. She felts so vulnerable, in fact, that she experienced the depths of depression and became suicidal.
As asha bandele notes in “Dazed and Confused: Depression’s Effect on Black Women” admitting depression is not an admission of weakness nor in turn a lack of faith. It’s an admission of strength. Strength in taking care of yourself, strength in building a stronger you, strength in believing one of our mantras — putting you, first!
Life can throw enough curveballs to make any of us depressed. But then again, that’s why it’s called “life.” Right? The very act of living our lives makes us stronger. Acting on depression makes us even stronger, whether we’re seeking help for the kind of depression that makes us spin our wheels and muddle through each day or a deeper clinical depression that can literally stop us in our tracks. Whether we’re feeling just a little blue or much more than that, we must find the strength to deal with it.
We also have examples of women who are making the most of these trying times, like the sister who started a business … after being laid off … in a bad economy. Such women are building on our innate resiliency passed down from our ancestors, that ability to make a way out of no way. When you think about it historically, our trying times aren’t actually the worst of times. Think about what our ancestors survived.
Find the strength to go for your dreams — no matter what anyone else thinks. After all, it’s your life and you get only one shot. What better example of “going for it” than Crystal Chissell, featured in “Create the Life of Your Dreams” by Sheree Crute. I met Crystal on my first sailing adventure, a weeklong trip around St. Vincent and the Grenadines. (Read “A Fantastic Voyage” at heartandsoul.com.) Crystal is tiny, but her spirit, captivating smile and sparkling eyes stand out. I watched her salsa dancing through delays at the Miami airport and again in Barbados. I was intrigued that she bought a boat shortly after her first sailing trip. And I was simply amazed that the former attorney and mayor of Highland Beach, Maryland, was joining the circus!
You, too, can find the strength to go for your dreams — even if that doesn’t mean buying a boat, joining the circus or showing your salsa moves. You’re strong enough to live out your dreams for yourself, your family and your community. If you’re not as strong as you’d like to be, fake it till you make it. But if you ask me, you’re stronger than you know!
From my heart to yours,
Yanick Rice Lamb
Associate Publisher/Editorial Director
yricelamb@heartandsoul.com
