You give me a boost every time you drop a line saying how much you like the magazine or how something in it gave you a boost. I also get a boost from praying, being with loved ones, hanging around young people, laughing, hearing “my song,” bringing a smile to someone’s face, running a Boston, talking to long-lost friends and relatives, sailing, listening to a great choir, playing tennis, traveling to a special place or seeing a rainbow. Those are just a few of my favorite things.

My biggest boost comes from giving a boost. But it can be hard to lift up some people no matter what we say or do. That’s when we need to listen closely and pay extra attention—especially if they are emotionally distressed or share suicidal thoughts, advises Donna Holland Barnes, Ph.D., a psychiatry professor at Howard University who is co-founder and president of the National Organization for People of Color Against Suicide.

Unfortunately, the economic downturn has made this more common in recent years. Finances and foreclosures have pushed many people to the edge. With the recession, calls to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL) quadrupled from 13,424 in January 2007 to 59,500 in May 2010. It doesn’t mean that all of these people would have actually attempted suicide, but they were all in need of professional help. “More than 90 percent of suicide victims have a diagnosable mental illness and/or substance use disorder” that might not be apparent to loved ones, NSPL reports.

While African-American suicide rates are lower than those for other racial and ethnic groups, they have been creeping up. At least five African Americans die from suicides each day, according to the National Organization for People of Color Against Suicide. That’s five too many.

Here’s some advice from Barnes if someone responds negatively when you’re trying to give him or her a boost:

§     Don’t be dismissive or overly pushy in trying to make them feel better. “They’re talking that way because they need to, and you need to listen,” Barnes explains. Say things like “tell me more,” or “why do you feel this way?”

§     Take everything you hear seriously. If someone expresses feelings of worthlessness or seems to be losing interest in life, consider it a cry for help. You can immediately help them call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s free, 24-hour hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

§     Go with your friend or relative to seek professional help. NSLP can provide referrals if necessary.

§     Erase the stigma about depression and other forms of mental health. These are illnesses that are common and treatable.

§     Educate yourself. Visit the

the National Organization for People of Color Against Suicide, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

From my heart to yours,

Yanick Rice Lamb

Associate Publisher/Editorial Director

yricelamb@heartandsoul.com

twitter.com/yrlamb or heartandsoulmag

facebook.com/heartandsoulmag

Beyond a Boost is a post from: Heart & Soul

Evelyn Cunningham with Mamie Eisenhower.

Benjamin Hooks, Dorothy Height and now Evelyn Cunningham—I guess deaths really do come in threes. What a triumvirate of leaders in human, women’s and civil rights. While services for Height are in the second of three days here in Washington, Cunningham died peacefully this morning in New York, according to her niece, Gigi Freeman.

I brought her pink roses on my last trip to her beloved Harlem. I was just thinking the other day that I was overdue for a visit and kicking myself for not interviewing Height about Cunningham’s life as a “connector” and journalist.

At 94, Cunningham has spent a lot of time connecting and encouraging lots of people like me. At 94, she’s seen a lot and chronicled much of it as a reporter and columnist for the Pittsburgh Courier during its heyday. At 94, she was a witness to history. Gracious and socially conscious, outspoken with a wicked sense of humor, she also made some of her own history personally and professionally in journalism, politics and other arenas.

Cunningham was among the few women who covered the hot spots of the Civil Rights Movement. She begged for such assignments and came to be known as the “lynching editor.” Rather than take her notepad and pen to teas, fashion shows, debutante balls, and club meetings, she preferred not only to go where the male reporters went, but also in their stead since black men faced a greater risk of being lynched. She was in the thick of protests, lynchings and bombings, including the blast that struck the Alabama home of a young Martin Luther King Jr. Cunningham chronicled King’s emergence as a leader in a multi-part series and other articles. They developed a mutual respect, she said, and would often joke around.

“When he had to introduce me to somebody, he would always say, ‘This is Sister Cunningham, and she’s from the Pittsburgh Courier—but she’s a New Yorker and she is not nonviolent.”

Cunningham documented an important chapter in U.S. history, not only as a correspondent for the black press but also as a stringer for the New York Times, the New York Daily News and the New York Post. She shrugged off the lack of credit or compensation for the stories and tips she provided. And the dailies wouldn’t have been able to lure her from the black press even if they had really tried.

She loved her job. She loved giving voice to the voiceless, holding the powerful accountable and even confronting scoundrels like Bull Connors. She wrote about barriers broken by everyone from tennis and golf legend Althea Gibson to the rising lawyer Thurgood Marshall, whom she described as one of the first feminists.

In her columns for the Pittsburgh Courier, Cunningham injected more of her wit, spurred on by the likes of Langston Hughes, who said that the black press needed to lighten up.

“They told me I could write about anything I wanted, and so I did,” Cunningham said. “Nothing was sacred. They let me just run amok and make fun of black people sometimes and make fun of myself.”

In addition to working at the Pittsburgh Courier from 1943 to 1962, she started hosting a radio program for WLIB-AM during her lunch break. During her five years at the microphone, she interviewed newsmakers ranging from Malcolm X to Sammy Davis Jr.

One of her last interviews was with Nelson Rockefeller and resulted in a job offer to work with the New York governor and baseball pioneer Jackie Robinson. That began a deeper shift into politics, women’s rights and civic activism with key appointments at the local, state and federal levels that extended into her 80s and 90s. She was also active in numerous organizations, especially the Coalition of 100 Black Women. In fact, Cunningham is to the Coalition as Height is to the National Council of Negro Women and Delta Sigma Theta.

“The government thing was fabulous for me,” Cunningham said, but the board seats became too numerous. “One day I looked up and I was on 12 boards, and that’s when I started saying, ‘this is ridiculous.’”

Her five-year stint on the board of the Apollo Theatre Foundation was one of her most contentious appointments. The then 83-year-old resigned in late January 1999 after she locked horns with U.S. Rep. Charles Rangel, D-N.Y., when she supported the state attorney general’s effort to remove the board as part of an investigation of financial irregularities. The investigation involved dealings with Inner City Broadcasting, producer of “It’s Showtime at the Apollo.”

The incident put her at odds not only with Rangel, the board chairman, but also with Inner City founder Percy Sutton, with whom she traveled to a sit-in at a Maryland diner for a first-person story in November 1961. But Cunningham didn’t care. In both her pre- and post-journalistic lives, she was consistent in her commitment to calling a spade, a spade—even if it meant wrecking a friendship.

The recipient of a 1998 George Polk Award and a 2008 Legacy Award from the National Association of Black Journalists, Cunningham viewed her extraordinary life as ordinary. Perhaps that’s what made her so down to earth and made it easy for her to tell the stories of others.

“I would like to be remembered as a person who was rich in friends,” she once told me. “I have had a lifetime full of friends—good people, wonderful people, famous people, poor people, productive people. Just people. Wonderful, wonderful people. That’s why journalism was so easy for me. I loved it so much!”

Yanick Rice Lamb is associate publisher and editorial director of Heart & Soul magazine. She also teaches journalism at Howard University.

Evelyn Cunningham: A Witness to History is a post from: Heart & Soul

Strong black women — that’s a common description for us. Where does it come from, and how do we keep our strength strong? For me, it can be summed up in a passage from Exodus 15:2, “the Lord is my strength and song.” I also draw on the strength of my family, friends, character and reputation. People who know me believe that my word is bond. The strength of my character and reputation helped members of the public believe that a past business venture would do right by them even when they leery of one or more of the owners.

Sometimes, however, my strength falters. I can unintentionally fall short, because of brain overload (OK, my memory), multitasking, procrastination, or the highs and lows of life. The past year has shaken my strength, but not my faith. I’ve leaned on family, friends and faith to endure everything from the loss of my father to the ripple effects of the economy. What I’ve experienced is nothing compared to what some of you are facing. What’s the source of your strength? What are you doing to grow stronger?

First of all, know this: You’re stronger than you think. The same is true for Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins of TLC, who bounced back from a brain tumor and other trials, as well as other sisters featured in our latest issue. “After a lot of work,” one woman shared, “I’ve figured out how to be my own armor.” In the past, her boyfriend had been her “armor against the world.” Without him as a buffer, she didn’t feel so strong. She felts so vulnerable, in fact, that she experienced the depths of depression and became suicidal.

As asha bandele notes in “Dazed and Confused: Depression’s Effect on Black Women” admitting depression is not an admission of weakness nor in turn a lack of faith. It’s an admission of strength. Strength in taking care of yourself, strength in building a stronger you, strength in believing one of our mantras — putting you, first!

Life can throw enough curveballs to make any of us depressed. But then again, that’s why it’s called “life.” Right? The very act of living our lives makes us stronger. Acting on depression makes us even stronger, whether we’re seeking help for the kind of depression that makes us spin our wheels and muddle through each day or a deeper clinical depression that can literally stop us in our tracks. Whether we’re feeling just a little blue or much more than that, we must find the strength to deal with it.

We also have examples of women who are making the most of these trying times, like the sister who started a business … after being laid off … in a bad economy. Such women are building on our innate resiliency passed down from our ancestors, that ability to make a way out of no way. When you think about it historically, our trying times aren’t actually the worst of times. Think about what our ancestors survived.

Find the strength to go for your dreams — no matter what anyone else thinks. After all, it’s your life and you get only one shot. What better example of “going for it” than Crystal Chissell, featured in “Create the Life of Your Dreams” by Sheree Crute. I met Crystal on my first sailing adventure, a weeklong trip around St. Vincent and the Grenadines. (Read “A Fantastic Voyage” at heartandsoul.com.) Crystal is tiny, but her spirit, captivating smile and sparkling eyes stand out. I watched her salsa dancing through delays at the Miami airport and again in Barbados. I was intrigued that she bought a boat shortly after her first sailing trip. And I was simply amazed that the former attorney and mayor of Highland Beach, Maryland, was joining the circus!

You, too, can find the strength to go for your dreams — even if that doesn’t mean buying a boat, joining the circus or showing your salsa moves. You’re strong enough to live out your dreams for yourself, your family and your community. If you’re not as strong as you’d like to be, fake it till you make it. But if you ask me, you’re stronger than you know!

From my heart to yours,

Yanick Rice Lamb

Associate Publisher/Editorial Director

yricelamb@heartandsoul.com

Building Strength is a post from: Heart & Soul

You know that you’re a together sister. Right? Some of you accepted this fact long ago, but a few are still in denial.

Think about your favorite together sisters—the ones you know and the ones you don’t. What do you admire about them? Why? What do you see in them that you also see in yourself? You probably have more in common than you had imagined even if you’re at different points on the spectrum.

What are your gifts and talents? What do you love about yourself? What do others love about you? Think about the compliments, big ups, high fives and pats on the backs you receive—or should receive.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the full extent of our gifts and talents. Far too often we over ook them or take them for granted; far too often others do the same. Instead of praise, we may hear silence or criticism or confusion. I remember being praised for my writing or editing skills, but then being told that I wasn’t all that — in the same time period, in the same place, almost in the same breath. How could I be both, I wondered? Who’s right?

Now, according to my parents, Carmelie Jordan and the late William Rice, I could do anything and be anything. Like many parents, they’ve admittedly been biased with this loving tendency to make me larger than life. Still, when I hear silence or criticism or confusion, I listen to those on my friends and family plan as well as my inner voice. That’s what keeps me (mostly) together. That’s also what keeps me in check and grounded.

While it’s important to be your strongest cheerleader and surround yourself with positive people, don’t ignore the downside. Don’t just get mad when you hear silence or criticism or confusion; sift through it all to find the kernels of truth. What are the lessons you can learn about yourself to truly be a together sister? How can you turn weaknesses into strengths?

I recently spent a relaxing weekend with some together sisters at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. A few shared how they used yoga to overcome challenges, rise up from life’s downs and turn weaknesses into strengths. They listened to the voices inside and all around. They held up the mirror and took a good look at themselves. They came up with a plan. They focused on what brings them joy—what keeps them together. One shared her excitement of coming full circle and how she plans to use lessons from previous jobs toward her original passion.

What can you learn from your situations? What will help you feel like a together sister again? Don’t be afraid to seek help, especially professional counseling or the sage advice of a spiritual leader, especially with everything going on in the world. Too many of us are walking around wounded by the loss of love, loved ones, jobs and homes. Too many of us are weepy, overweight or under weight, sleep-deprived, cranky, stressed out, depressed or even downright, bitchy.

Tamala Jones, this month’s cover girl, shares how she wasn’t so nice, once upon a time. She also shares how she coped with a triple play of terrifying experiences. Like many together sisters, she’s used her personal trials and triumphs to help others. And speaking of help, together sisters know that they really can’t do it all. So heed the advice in the Real Issues, Real Answers section: even Wonder Woman called on her Super Friends from time to time. Together sisters understand what it takes to keep it together.

From my heart to yours,

Yanick Rice Lamb

yricelamb@heartandsoul.com

Together Sisters is a post from: Heart & Soul

Photo by Bobby Quillard

Think about how much more you know now than you did 10 years ago. With each passing decade, we grow stronger — whether it’s the leap from adolescence to young womanhood at 21 or the soulful strut into our 30s, 40s or 50s. We’re wise women.

No one has to tell us that 30 is the new 20 or that 40 is the new 30. We’re feeling it and living it. We’ve got brains to go along with our beauty, spiced with mother wit and street smarts. We’re more comfortable in our skin. We’re wise women.

We say what we mean, and we mean what we say. We’re too busy taking care of business. We don’t have time for drama, room for negativity, tolerance for foolishness. We’re wise women

As we reach new levels of clarity and confidence, we let things roll off our shoulders that might have kept us awake in the past. We find it fulfilling to share bits of our wisdom that might help others solve a puzzle or avoid some of our missteps. Even when they don’t listen, we’re mature enough to refrain from saying, “I told you so.” They might prefer a hard-knock life, but not us. We’re wise women.

We make the most of each day. We learn from the past, live in the present and look forward to whatever the future holds. We’re wise women.

After God, or whatever higher power we honor, we put ourselves first so that there’s more of us to give to our families, our friends, our communities, our world. We celebrate our elders and nurture our young. We’re wise women.

We understand that life throws us curveballs that can be lessons in living. We’ve learned to go with the flow and when to be still so that we can catch the message. We’re wise women.

No one has to tell us about ourselves; we know we aren’t perfect. We’re already turning our weaknesses into strengths and building on our gifts. We’re becoming even more fabulous. We’re wise women.

We laugh hard and love even harder. We share our joy as well as our pain. We welcome healing and helping hands. We’re wise women.

When something doesn’t feel right, we don’t go into denial; we go to the doctor. We make our loved ones go, too. We’re lifting barbells instead of forks, trading fat for fruit, tasting our food instead of automatically reaching for the salt. We’re watching our numbers. We’re trying to have less bounce to the ounce. We’re wise women.

High unemployment won’t keep us down. We’ll figure out how to reinvent ourselves, make a way out of no way, stretch our funds and protect our last good nerve. We’re focused on being healthy, wealthy and wise. That’s what wise women do. No matter what, we’ll always be wise women.

From my heart to yours,

Yanick Rice Lamb

yricelamb@heartandsoul.com

We’re Wise Women is a post from: Heart & Soul

This has been a tough time for many of us, yet still we must count our blessings. After all, we made it through another year—even if we’re limping into 2010 weighed down by downsizing, foreclosures, health issues and other personal challenges.

With record unemployment, our families have been trying to make unruly financial ends meet. More families have joined the ranks of the homeless. And no jobs plus no homes certainly means no insurance, when we already suffer disproportionately from all sorts of health conditions. Add to this crimes of desperation, from robberies to domestic violence; suicides; and premature deaths from worn-down bodies and souls.

All of this means that we must do an even better job of taking care of ourselves and each other. Remember that no matter what you’re going through, someone else has a worse scenario. Say a kind word to brighten someone’s day. Share a little bit of what you have (OK, what you don’t have) with extended family members, neighbors and even strangers through your place of worship or organizations that really make a difference. Even if you can’t share money, you can share some of your time. Remember all those terrible beat-downs in the news this year? We can avoid some of those tragedies by spending more time with our young. Start in your extended family and neighborhood.

Keep yourself uplifted by looking on the bright side, looking at the cup half full instead of half empty. Do what you can to stay healthy and fit. Protect your last good nerve, and share your woes with a professional whether you feel just a little bit blue and especially if you’re bluer than blue.

All of these things work for me as well as my circle of family and friends. Like many of you, I’ve experienced a lot of loss in 2009. I’ve lost many friends and relatives, some at early ages, like the two cousins who died around Christmas. Most of all, I lost my father. So I’ve been bending lots of ears and pouring out my heart. I’ve been encircled with lots of love and listening ears. I also took the time to talk to a grief counselor as backup and to practice what I preach.

Yes, I still have a broken heart, but it does get easier just as everyone has told me over and over again. More importantly, I’m counting my blessings. I enjoyed the love of my father, step-father and grandfather. Some people lack strong men in their lives. Not only did I have these three as role models and protectors—William R. Rice, Charles Jordan and Rudolph Rice—but I’ve also had the love of some wonderful brothers, uncles and cousins.

I count my blessings that a year ago I witnessed history through my father’s eyes during the inauguration of President Barack Obama. My father was one of those “Obama maniacs,” a fan long before the president threw his hat in the ring. He helped to open the campaign office in Albany, Georgia, and worked tirelessly get out the vote as prostate and colon cancer began to weaken his body. He stood mesmerized at the Mid-Atlantic Inaugural Ball, watching the President and First Lady dance. I hope they know that Bill Rice is putting in a good word for them up in heaven and that he considered their victory a highlight of his 80 years on earth. Eighty well-lived years — that’s a blessing in itself!

I also count our blessings that Heart & Soul is still here to serve you. Unlike many media companies, we’re still standing. Thanks for helping us reach our 15^th anniversary, which we’ve celebrated in each issue in 2009 with top-15 stories. Thanks for helping us reach the 16^th with the current issue, graced by one of you. This year’s reader cover model is Jennifer Cameron, who shares how she overcame self-esteem issues, an eating disorder and war-time separation from her husband to become healthy, wealthy and wise. Best of all, some of our elders helped her achieve the glow you see on the cover.

Let’s continue to stand strong together. It’s in our genes; it’s part of our history. Here’s to a 2010, a decade, a future, rich with blessings for each of us. Please drop me a note at yricelamb@heartandsoul.com or post a comment below to share how you’re counting your blessings!

From my heart to yours,

Yanick Rice Lamb

Associate Publisher/Editorial Director

Counting Our Blessings is a post from: Heart & Soul