Pink poufy dress you’ll never wear again? $150. Fancy schmancy up-do and manicured nails? $100. Being a bridesmaid in your friend’s wedding? Priceless…or is it? According to TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com 2010 Real Weddings Survey, the average cost of being a bridesmaid is $1,695. Yikes!

Once you factor in the dress, alterations, hair, makeup, gifts and accessories–not to mention flights and hotels, if necessary–it’s easy to understand why you may have to seriously consider your financial situation before saying “I will” when your BFF asks you to be her MOH (Maid of Honor).

Now, I’ve only been a bridesmaid once and when it was all over, I probably spent somewhere between $500 and $600…not too shabby considering the national average. But if I had to pull bridesmaid duties several times a year, I’d probably have to think twice and check my wallet before I commit.

In order to save yourself some sanity and keep your checking account, well…in check, you need to ask yourself one very important question: can you afford to be a bridesmaid? Be honest. If the answer is “no,” then it’s better to be upfront with the bride than wait until the last minute.

Find out if there’s a less expensive way for you to still be involved with the wedding without being a bridesmaid. If you’re the artsy type, volunteer to help the bride with the favors and invitations. A good writer? See if she needs help putting her vows on paper. Maybe you’re the next Jennifer Hudson? Ask your friend if she would like you to sing at the wedding. You may also want to consider buying a group bridal shower and/or bachelorette party gift and splitting the hotel costs with the other guests to save money.

Remember, it’s more important for you to support your friend than bankrupt your savings. If the bride is a true friend (and not a raging bridezilla!), she’ll understand your reasons for not being able to stand next to her at the altar and she won’t love you any less.

Tips for Being a Bridesmaid-Friendly Bride:

• Set a budget. Just as you’re counting pennies, so are your bridesmaids. As a courtesy, ask your girls their price points for bridesmaid dresses and stick to it. Or, if you’re okay with it, simply ask your girls to wear their favorite LBD…they’re guaranteed to look great (and feel good!) in their own clothes and won’t have to shell out big bucks for a new dress.
• Consolidate. Out of courtesy to your out-of-town guests, coordinate with your maid of honor to host your bridal shower and bachelorette party on the same weekend to cut down on additional travel costs.
• Do it yourself. If a member of your bridal party or a close friend is a pro at hair and makeup, kindly ask her if she’d be willing to lend her services for your Big Day. This way, everyone saves money.

L’Oreal Thompson is the assistant editor for Chesapeake Home + Living magazine and a staff writer for Harford and Howard magazines. She is addicted to cupcakes, shoes and all things purple. Follow her on Twitter @LOrealKT.

Before You Say “I Will:” Costs of Being a Bridesmaid is a post from: Heart & Soul

Congratulations to the 2011 Working Mother Best Companies for Multicultural Women!

Allstate Insurance Company
American Express Company
Technologies
JPMorgan Chase & Co.
KPMG LLP
CA Macy’s Inc
Chubb & Son
Cisco*
Citi
Macy s Inc.
McDonald’s Corporation
New York Life Insurance Company
PepsiCo
Colgate-Palmolive Company
Deloitte*
Mills*
PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP
Procter & Gamble Company*
General Sode o
Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.
IBM Corporation*
Sodexo
State Farm Insurance
Verizon Communications Inc
Walmart Stores, Inc.
Source: 2011 Working Mother Best Companies for Multicultural Women

The Working Mother Best Companies for Multicultural Women were selected based on their answers to 375 questions on 2011 application, which included topics such as Company Profile, Female and Male Representation, Top Earners, Recruitment, Retention & Advancement, Diversity Task Forces Affinity Groups, Mentoring, Management & Leadership Training, Networking, Company Culture and Grievance Policies.

Source: 2011 Working Mother Best Companies for Multicultural Women

What are your experiences with these companies and others as a woman of color?

Best Companies for Multicultural Women is a post from: Heart & Soul

Despite the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s (EEOC) findings in 1987 that ruled barring people from jobs based solely on a criminal conviction disproportionately excluded African Americans and Latinos from the labor market, countless American companies and employers still continue to practice consistent, and sometimes overt, job discrimination.

In the same way that it is illegal for employers to discriminate based upon race, gender or ethnicity, it is also against civil rights law for employers to use non-job related selection criteria that disproportionately disadvantages people of color in hiring decisions.

According to a new report by the National Employment Law Project, at least 10 major companies (including Bank of America, Lowe’s, Domino’s Pizza and Radio Shack) overuse criminal background checks and blanket bans against hiring those charged with even misdemeanor offenses.

Darrell Langdon of Chicago was addicted to and convicted of possession of cocaine more than 25 years ago. Now he proudly proclaims his sobriety and is a beneficial contributor to society as a boiler room engineer for Chicago Public Schools. The road to his current job was a rough one, however. Even though he has been sober for nearly three decades, Langdon was initially denied his boiler room engineer position due to his criminal history. He was later given the job after his situation garnered considerable media attention.

“ When they denied me for the job, I couldn’t believe it, especially since it was because of something that happened way back then,” said Langdon in an interview with TheGrio.com.

Despite research and high-ranking officials, including U.S. Secretary of Labor Hilda L. Solis, acknowledging that employment has been proved to thwart recidivism, job discrimination is still rampant in the United States and continues to affect more than 65 million Americans who have a criminal record and are currently looking for work. --Aaron Randle

Job Discrimination At All Time High is a post from: Heart & Soul

Leading man Lamman Rucker’s creative energy keeps ticking after many of us are tucked in. The actor recently launched his natural body care products, Forplai. The collection  features a steamy assortment of sweet smells to condition skin for women, couples and especially the brothers.

A Carnegie Mellon University graduate, Rucker  is most known for his onscreen charisma from “All My Children” to Tyler Perry’s “Meet The Browns” sitcom and the “Why Did I Get Married” franchise. We caught up with the Pittsburgh native to discuss the realities of being an entrepreneur and how he’s managing multiple career moves.

HEART & SOUL: We’re excited to hear about Forplai. What inspired you to create bath and body care products?
Lamman Rucker: Other celebrities are creating colognes and perfumes;  I decided to go a different route and was inspired to create bath and body products. I met my co-founder Thai Morrison and was attracted to her spirit and vision for wellness products. I’m glad I was patient and waited for the right brand. I am involved on a day-to-day basis. I desired a product that I would not just be a celebrity face for. You have to be involved in your endeavor and have like-minded minded people around you who believe in the vision and growth potential.  I am very much a part of Forplai.

H & S: How do you balance managing a company with your busy acting career?
Rucker: You just do it. I have my challenges some days with juggling and multitasking. It’s also easy when you are passionate about your business endeavors. I had a young lady run to me the other day and express how much she loved Forplai products. To know you are reaching people makes all the required hard work worth the time. I’ve always been involved with more than one project. I’ve never been just an actor or just a businessman. I’ve always managed different projects.  I thank the Lord for my business partner. Your team is just as important as the product.

What’s the toughest lesson you learned while starting a business and your biggest tip for those looking to start new businesses?
Rucker: It takes money to make money. It’s good to have ambition and goals, but you have to be really patient about pursuing and actualizing your goals.  You have to do plenty of research as it relates to your desired industry or product. You have to know about creating the product. You might be frustrated, but a business takes times to build. Save your money, have strong leadership and be prepared. You need to be able to pay for some of the early things that it will take to manifest your product or idea.

As men we sometimes are not the most responsible when it comes to our health. How important is health and wellness for black men?
Rucker: It’s highly important for black men to take care of our health and well-being; unfortunately it’s not as prioritized for men as it is for women. We have to care for our health and well-being.

Visit Forplai.com for more information.

Are you starting your own business? Share your story below.

Dollars and Scents with Actor Lamman Rucker is a post from: Heart & Soul

It’s only a matter of time before you’re paying for most things with your phone instead of your credit card, according to financial experts.

As credit card and phone companies continue to embrace the concept of mobile banking, which allows users to utilize their mobile devices as credit cards, experts say the use of actual plastic credit cards will begin to decline sharply.

“Your plastic card hasn’t changed since the age of the vinyl records,” said Michael Abbott, CEO of Isis, a new mobile payment network, CNN Reports. “This is the chance to bring payments forward from the plastic and the vinyl records age to the digital age.”

Mobile payments have been utilized for a few years now, however 2011 is expected to see a sizable boost. Research by the Aite Group predicts mobile payment transactions to top over $22 billion by 2015.

While some see a sharp spurt in mobile payments on the horizon, others are more skeptical: Jane Cloninger, director at Edgar Dunn & Co., a consulting firm specializing in financial services and believes “the mobile wallet will eventually replace the plastic card — but it’s going to take some time because consumer habits take a long time to change.”

Currently credit card companies Visa, MasterCard, Google, Bank of America, Citi and U.S. Bank; as well as mobile companies AT&T, Verizon, and T-Mobile are all testing mobile payment methods on their Blackberry, Android, and iPhone platforms. – Aaron Randle

Have you used mobile banking? Share your thoughts below.

Credit Cards May Soon Become Obsolete is a post from: Heart & Soul

Want to start your own catering business? Finally ready to get your bridal company off the ground? Need the money and a bit of mentoring to make it happen? Recently producer/songwriter Bryan-Michael Cox took a studio break to tell Heart & Soul about his involvement with 100 Urban Entrepreneurs. Pulling on years of experience, Cox serves as a board member and mentor with the organization, which is giving $10,000 each to 100 start-ups. From how to make business pitches pop to how to keep your company running, Bryan-Michael Cox shares the keys to success.

Heart & Soul: This sounds like a great initiative. How did you get involved with 100 Urban Entrepreneurs?
Bryan-Michael Cox: I got involved with the program via a great friend, Angela Mack and another good friend of mine, Luke. They introduced me to Dan Carriere, who’s actually the person that’s funding the whole thing, and we just clicked. They started this wonderful program and they pulled me in, it’s been a really gratifying experience.

H & S: What separates 100 Urban Entrepreneurs from other programs that provide funding for start-ups?
We don’t just give money. The mentor piece is what we’re really big on. The program is really about mentorship; we’re not just giving $10,000 away.

How can someone make their application stand out?
Be original and be thorough. Whatever you want to do from a business perspective, do your research. See what your price points are, see what supplies you need, and know how you’re going to make the money back. A lot of times people come up with a business plan and don’t really write out how they’re going to get the money back.

Starting and running your own business is no easy feat, what are some keys to success?
Do your research on whatever you’re trying to build and trying to start, that’s the key. You’ve got to be the smartest and you’ve got to be the best. In business you’ve really got to cross the ‘t’s and dot the ‘i’s. Then people can’t tell you nothing about what you want to do. But whatever you do be thorough and do the research. Study your business, live your business, and know your business.

In the “Handle Your Business” video series you say that when you started in the industry, you didn’t really look at your writing and producing like a business. What would you tell people who are having trouble seeing their passion in terms of profit?
Most things that you’re passionate about you would do for free, but you have to make your money. It’s also part of understanding the whole picture. I’m pretty sure that whatever you are passionate about there is a business attached to it. It’s easy to get lost in the creative part of your mind because you are in love with what you do, but you always have to keep that business component at the front of your mind.

Any last tips or pointers?
If you are having problems, or even if things are going well, get a mentor. Mentorship is essential.

For more information, visit www.thecashflow.com.

Tips For Urban Entrepreneurs from Bryan-Michael Cox is a post from: Heart & Soul

Ladies, make no mistake, these tough financial times have trickled down to dating as well. With Valentine’s Day looming near, we must all adopt a new way of thinking: finance does NOT equal romance. Take the pressure off of your honey (or would-be honey) by letting him know that you think savings is the new sexy. Every man that I know appreciates a woman that digs them and not their wallet. So this Valentine’s Day embrace the less is more theory, with these economic yet romantic date ideas. They are sure to have you racing into each other’s arms rather than the bank:

Chateau la Me
For less than $35 dollars you can transform your room into the most romantic “restaurant” you’ve ever dined in.

What you’ll need:
- 2 shear curtain panels – $10 (find them at your local discount store)
- Thumbtacks – $1
- Tablecloth- $1
- 1 pack of scented tea lights- $1
- Refreshments- >$20 (or cook/raid your kitchen)
- Your best dishes- free
- Music- free (play your favorite romantic tunes)

The date:
Use the tablecloth and set up a romantic picnic style dinner on the floor of a room in your home. Use the curtains to create a canopy by hanging them from the ceiling with the thumbtacks. Turn out the lights, light the tea candles, press play and viola! Chateau la Me will be in full romantic swing. I have done this date a number of times and believe me, it will impress like no other!

The Love Stroll
Walk in love with your sweetie for less than $15.

What you’ll need to take this “picturesque” stroll:
-A digital camera- free (use your own, or borrow one)
-A place to walk- free
-An inexpensive meal->$15

The date:
Choose your favorite park or city streets in advance. Ditch the car/train/bus, take hold of your honey’s hand and go for a walk. Use your stroll as an opportunity to talk about your dreams, life, love (only positive things please). In between chatting, take turns taking pictures of sites, nature & each other, but don’t look at the pictures yet. Once your romantic stroll comes to an end, find a comfy inexpensive spot to eat and view the pictures. Later, make an album to commemorate your “love stroll”.

Disconnect to Connect
It’s true what they say, “love don’t cost a thing”, and neither does this date.

What you won’t need:
-Phones
-Internet
-Cable
-People (outside of you and your man)

The date:
Plan in advance to disconnect from the outside world. Pick the date, and let everyone know that you and he will not be available. Begin to disconnect from the outside world the night before. Turn off your phone, television, computer and alarm. Get your video choices lined up and stock the refrigerator with the necessary sustenance for the next day. The next morning, allow the sun to wake you and your honey up. Your only concern for your “disconnect to connect day” should be eating, napping, relaxing and each other. Spend the day in bed, play games, read to each other, have a pillow fight, watch movies, have a heart-to-heart talk, and enjoy each other’s company. Make the day about you and him.

February 15th
Who says the day of love is February 14th? The day after Valentine’s Day presents a unique opportunity to save on love. If you and your man are willing to celebrate on the 15th of February, you’ll be able to do so at a fraction of the cost.

What you’ll need:
-Patience

The date:
As you know, after a holiday passes, stores are full of seasonal items that are deeply discounted. If you can be patient as you watch your coworkers and friends squeal over their gifts and flowers on the 14th, you stand to make out like a bandit on the 15th. After Valentine’s Day florists almost give their flowers away, chocolate prices will be slashed, card prices will drop and red and pink colored items will be binned. You will also be able to actually get reservations to your favorite place to eat. It may be hard on V-day itself, when surrounded by gloating peers, but just imagine how you’ll feel when you tell them that your baby says that you’re too special to share Valentine’s Day with the rest of the world, and that February 15th is just for you and he…

Ladies, I hope the following frugal yet fabulous dates have taught you that romance has nothing to do with finance. If your honey is not as creative as you’d like, drop a hint by forwarding this article to him, or better yet, print it out for him, tape it to the bathroom mirror and write choose one on it.

For more tips from The Budgetnista Tiffany Aliche visit thebudgetnista.biz

The Budgetnista’s Guide to Love on Valentine’s Day is a post from: Heart & Soul

It’s been on every news outlet that women, many African American, led foreclosures in the recession. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get the home you have been saving for, but it is a reminder to  proceed with care. Bankruptcy lawyer and foreclosure expert Tami Wells Thomas has represented hundreds of women in the Atlanta area and is the owner of Wells Thomas Law. She shares her top three rules for women on home-ownership.

Tip #1: Always Buy Less Than You Qualify For
Many times I see women who were told that they could qualify for a $300,000 home loan and then they started looking at homes in that price range. That $300,000 doesn’t take into account the cost of maintaining the home and the “just in case factor.” Provide yourself cushion for unexpected experiences by buying a home less than the qualified loan.

Tip #2: Consider The Total Cost of Your Dream House
Buying a house is an excellent, independent move but many times we are not prepared for all that comes with it. These items include yard up keep, garbage disposal, higher utilities for heating and cooling more space. When calculating your ideal home, include every cost that comes with it from security installation to building the extra closet space for your shoes and bags.

Tip #3: Write A Wish List
We have list for everything such as jobs, relationships and our life goals. You need one for your dream house as well. Keep in mind that no house is perfect, so consider creating a “must have” column alongside your “would be nice to have” column.

Read Part 2 of our home-ownership series with three things to know once you buy>>

Black Women and Home-Ownership: Three Things to Know Before You Buy is a post from: Heart & Soul

Though women are entering the workforce in record numbers, there still are far less female CEOs and executives in the corporate world than men. And it may come down to the ability to handle competition.

In a recent study, University of Chicago economics professor John List found women shied away from competitive jobs, Time magazine reports.

List and other researchers placed help wanted ads for clerical positions online. The interested applicants, mostly women, were sent an e-mail stating the details of the jobs. Some applicants were told that they would receive a fixed salary per hour, while others were told they would receive a base salary plus a bonus.

Once the element of the bonus was added into the job description, there were less females than males to actually send in their applications, showing that women may shy away from competitive work places.

Lise Vesterlund, an economist at the University of Pittsburgh, told Time that many CEO openings involve two or three employees competing for the head position, and if women don’t like to compete, they are less likely to find themselves in these types of situation.

So the real gender gap question is, are women afraid of competition in the workforce?

Share your thoughts below.

Are Women Afraid of Competition? is a post from: Heart & Soul

Knowing your passion is a big step in transforming your life. Now “Passion .  . .Who Needs It?” author Shaunice Hawkins shares how to be passionate about anything and turn your innate skills into a fulfilling career in Part III of our series.

To turn your passion into professional success takes effort and requires a paradigm shift in the way you approach both passion and life.  Many professionals unconsciously begin to experience a change in their on-the-job goals, becoming less interested in accumulation (of money, promotions, titles, etc.) and more interested in contribution, seeking to give time, energy and effort to others.

When you recognize and accept that this shift has taken place, you can realign your focus accordingly, your passion will reignite effortlessly and you will be open to exploring new opportunities that will lead you to success.

Consider the senior executive who found her work increasingly unfulfilling in the latter stages of her career, despite ongoing accomplishment and recognition. She changed her focus from personal excellence to developing people. She created a new challenge for herself and decided that if even one person’s career or life was better for having worked with her, then she would have accomplished her goal. This change in focus revitalized her and reenergized her work environment, creating a win-win situation.

There’s a myth in our culture about passion…that it can only be spontaneous. You either love your job or you don’t. You either enjoy exercising or hate it.  We’re taught that passion can’t be forced or created. That’s not entirely true. Passion can be created, even for things you don’t currently enjoy.  By tweaking your attitude along with the activities and pursuits you engage in, you can find a passion for anything but it takes patience and an open mind.

Life tends to present moments when we must do something that we don’t love. And when you’ve mastered the ‘passion skill,’ you end up loving the things you have to do almost as much as the things you were born to do.

And if you know how to do it, existing passions can be turned from mildly interesting to exciting. Here are a few ways to do it:

• Curb Your Appetite – When someone is starving, they don’t really have a chance to savor or enjoy the taste of their food. This works the same way with passion. The more you crave a goal (instead of the process containing the goal) the less likely you are to develop a passion for it. Goal-setting is good. Goal-obsession is not.
• Get Curious – Curiosity is the basis of passion. Whatever the subject matter, shake off your current understandings and begin from the view that you are almost completely ignorant on the subject. Then look for novelty to boost your interest.
• Express Who You Are – Find hidden opportunities for self-expression in every task. This could mean changing the format you write code in or altering the style of your presentation. View each activity as an act of expression and originality.
• Bring Your Talents Into Play – One way to enjoy anything you’re doing is to apply your existing talents. Find ways to use skills you have and enjoy using them in a new endeavor. For example, an artistic person could draw pictures to help herself study. An athlete might be able to use her strength and endurance as an advocate.
• Hurdle the Frustration Barrier – If an activity is too difficult for you to become enthusiastic about it, worry less about results and more about experimenting until you build up skill. This keeps you from getting frustrated and ensures the process is fun.
• Break the Chains That Bind – Feeling forced into an activity is a sure way to kill any passion. Instead of flowing with the task, you rebel against your entrapment and that makes you miserable. You always have a choice. Find the win-win in it for you.
• Re-Modulate the Challenge – For boring tasks, make them more difficult. For frustrating tasks, make them easier. This can be done by varying the speed or constraints you need to complete a task.

“Passion .  . .Who Needs It?” is on sale at Amazon.

Read previous posts:
Get In Touch With Your Passion
7 Steps to Transforming Your Life

Discovered your passion and turning it into a career? Share your story below.

Turning Your Passion Into Success is a post from: Heart & Soul