Second Time Around Love

Getting married the second time around--in my late 30s--was an entirely different experience than my first trip down the aisle at the tender age of 24. Back then I thought I knew what I was doing. I didn't. Thought I knew what I was getting. I didn't. Thought I knew what I needed. I didn't. By the time I finally accepted the fact that my first marriage was broken--after two children, three rounds of marital counseling and countless efforts over more than a decade to fix the unfixable--I was disillusioned, unhappy and doubtful about my future. 

Then I met Earl. 

We had an instant connection, and I don't mean a physical one. We clicked mentally, establishing an easy, comfortable rapport like nothing I'd ever experienced. I met Earl after a red-eye flight from Los Angeles to New Jersey. He walked up to me at the baggage carousel at Newark International Airport and asked if I was an author and if we'd met at Book Expo, a national book conference. 

Under other circumstances, I might have dismissed his questions as a come-on. As it turns out, I had, in fact, just returned from Book Expo, where I was promoting my first book. Moreover, a trusted associate had referred me to Earl, advising me that he owned a book-consulting company and could help me in my efforts. So even though I answered, "No, we've never met," I was pleasantly surprised when he extended his hand and introduced himself. I replied: Oh! You're Earl Cox!" and then proceeded to explain our common associate. 

I was immediately taken with his wit and positive energy, his business acumen and his creativity. But most of all, I was struck by his beautiful way of expressing himself--a communication style that both commands respect and also lets you know he's really listening.  

That night we talked for nearly three hours, and Earl wound up driving me home, the first and only time in my life I'd taken a ride from a stranger. Ironically, "home" at that time was the house I shared with my soon-to-be ex-husband. My former spouse assumed, as he often did, that I would catch a cab from the airport. That was 2003.

More than a month after we met, I hired Earl as a consultant. A business relationship grew into a wonderful friendship, and that blossomed into the loving, lifelong partnership we now enjoy. My marriage this time, simply put, is a blessing. 

In fact, we both felt so fortunate to have found love the second time around that we picked a lucky date to get married: 7-7-7 (July 7, 2007). 

Earl enriches my life in so many ways. We're business partners, passionate lovers and always each other's biggest champions. He is the best friend I've ever had, the first person I want to share good and bad news with and my=2 0most trusted confidante. I'm constantly amazed at the level of intimacy that comes with each passing year. Nothing makes me happier than to see him happy. His joy is my joy, his pain and worries my own. 

I love that Earl is old school and traditional; he doesn't hesitate to open my car door or lay down the law when the kids act up. But at the same time, he's very progressive, tolerant and open, particularly when it comes to supporting me as a wife, mother and career woman. He does more than his fair share in our household and thinks nothing of making the kids lunch for school, handling the laundry or taking our 2-year-old, Alexis, to the dentist or doctor. 

With Earl, I've come to understand that love truly is a verb. It's the everyday actions which show your partner how much he or she is cherished. This time, I know my marriage will last forever because I knew full well what I needed. Earl puts me at the center of his universe and he's at the center of mine. We travel together. We work hard together. And we get in a healthy mix of fun time and pleasure. 

Though some people warn about the dangers of "mixing business with pleasure," working together has strengthened our lives. As a result, we find it hard to be apart. In the rare case I take a business trip without Earl, he makes a point to be at the airport waiting for me. < /div>