By Psalm Isadora
You might not realize it, but you have a romantic blueprint. We all do. It’s one of five romantic archetypes. You might be the Madonna type who’s all about loving and giving. Or, you could be the opposite, the Tom Boy, who is more about loyalty and trust.
In order to live your most romantic life, you need to identify which romantic archetype you are and which love language you speak. You might relate to elements of all five of the archetypes, but we all have one that is more prominent than the others. It’ll show you how you are wired to give and receive love the best way, and which love language speaks to you (and your partner).
This is vital to a healthy relationship because if you don’t understand how you tick, how can your partner know what makes you happy? Once you figure out who you are and what you need in a relationship, you can give this valuable information to your partner… and vice versa.
What’s a love language? We’re not talking about parlez vous francais here. Your love language is how you like to communicate and how you want your partner to communicate with you. For instance, some women feel more loved when their partner brings them a gift, while others feel more love through physical affection or helping out around the house.
Think of it this way: Your partner might think bringing you flowers is a great way to show you love, when what you really respond to with is him doing the dishes once in awhile. So you might go through years of feeling frustrated that he just doesn’t “get you” when in reality it’s kind of your fault to not teaching him what your love language and romantic blueprint is.
Here are the 5 Romantic Archetypes…
Positive Strengths: This is the most erotic of the archetypes. She is a more free-spirited and sexual type of woman. She experiences sexuality as a transcendent and spiritual experience connecting her with pure source energy beyond her partner. Because of this universal connection, she can be more detached and prefers freedom to the stability of committed relationships. She knows what feels good to her, so sex is something she engages in for her own pleasure instead of to please someone else.
Gypsy Prototype: Angelina Jolie, Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor
Pain Points: She doesn’t have a hard time finding romantic partners, but does have a hard time in forming long-term romantic bonds and connecting on a deeper emotional level.
Love Language: Touch, sensuality, and intimacy. She communicates with her hands and body more through holding hands, touching her partner when she speaks to him/her, kissing, playing footsies under the table, cuddling, and, of course, sex.
Perfect Date: The gypsy is so in touch with her physical body and does not need a lot of warm up. She is already very erotic and sensual. Going straight to the bedroom can be an ideal date. Using feathers and blindfolds that push the edges of sensuality to make the experience much deeper and more intimate.
Positive Strengths: She is typically put up on pedestal and is perceived as very beautiful and sensual. Because she is an object of beauty, she can become disconnected or numb to her own true desires and pleasures.
Venus Prototype: Kim Kardashian, Barbie, cheerleaders, Playboy models
Pain Points: She might need too much validation from outside individuals and ends up becoming an object of pleasure instead of experiencing pleasure for herself. For example, an actress client used to fake her orgasm. She thought it was more about the other person witnessing how amazing she was having an orgasm rather than actually feeling it for herself.
Love Language: Giving and receiving gifts. She is not afraid to use her femininity or her flirtatious persona to receive gifts and affection.
Perfect Date: The perfect date for the Venus is to find relaxation, get out of her head and back into her body, and being able to feel her natural sensuality through luxury. Going out to a nice dinner or ordering a bottle of expensive champagne can help her engage in her eye for beauty.
Strengths: She is the most mothering and nurturing and likes to take care of all of her partner’s needs in and out of the bedroom. She’s sexual, but in an Earthier and more sensual way.
Madonna Prototype: Doris Day, Annette Funicello
Pain Points: Giving love and devotion until it hurts. She often offers too much to get approval, attention or affection. She often doesn’t speak up and fails to set boundaries that eventually leads to anger and resentment. If you’re a Madonna archetype, you want to be careful: this is a passive-aggressive type of loving. Though it may seem selfless, she often gives too much or doesn’t set boundaries because she has low self-esteem and is afraid she will be abandoned.
Love Language: Acts of love and devotion, such as making meals, taking care of the household duties, and doing things to make her partner’s day-to-day grind run smoothly.
Perfect Date: The perfect date for the Madonna is making a nice dinner at home that is followed by giving and receiving massages.
Strengths: She’s the Alpha female – powerful, a leader, and mentally and physically sharp and focused. She can take care of herself and is usually competitive.
Amazon Prototype: Pop star Madonna, CEOs, Boss Ladies
Pain Points: Not knowing when to be vulnerable enough to receive. It can feel scary to put down her guard down and to allow another person in because she is afraid of abandonment. Women nowadays are trying to be strong in a masculine way and are afraid to put down their Amazonian armor because underneath is the frightened little girl who is afraid of being hurt.
Love Language: Positive affirmations. You like to be told you are loved, beautiful, smart, etc. You give and like to receive compliments and verbal affirmations of love, respect, and support from your partner.
Perfect Date: The perfect date for the Amazon includes activities that have the feeling of competition that engages thrills and pushes the edges that creates endorphin rushes. Examples include sports, games or skydiving.
The Tom Boy
Strengths: She’s considered “one of the boys.” She’s loyal, a good friend, trustworthy, playful, sassy, and flirty. She gets along with everyone.
Tom Boy Prototype: She’s the best friend or sidekick to the leading lady
Pain Points: She’s never being seen as erotic, feminine or sensual, or being stuck in the “friend zone.” She is often stuck in the role of the “cool girl” in which she views everything as okay even if she’s dating or married to someone whose actions don’t make her feel desired or valued. The Tom Boy needs to set some boundaries and project one’s sexual and sensual self, similar to the Venus.
Love Language: Quality time spent with their partner.
The Perfect Date: A perfect would be hiking or doing something that engages playfulness and games. Or just watching movies at home – Netflix and Chill.
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