I was having a heart attack and stroke at the same time. My chest was tight, the left side of my face had gone numb, and I felt so lightheaded I could barely stand. I knew I had finally pushed myself too far. The ironic thing was I wasn’t even scared. I was pissed! All I could think was – I cannot believe this job is about to take me out! When I called the doctor he quietly listened and then said, Katrina, I don’t think you’re having a heart attack. I think you’re having panic attacks. But I knew that couldn’t be true. How could it be? I’m a confident, educated, resilient woman. For years I’ve been in leadership positions, run my own companies and for God’s sakes I was a single parent!! If I were going to have panic attacks they would have shown up ages ago! Several hundred dollars in tests later, his diagnosis proved to be true. Thank God I wasn’t having a heart attack. But why was I having panic attacks? How did I let a job I loved so much turn into my own personal hell? And more importantly, why didn’t I leave months before when I knew it was time to go? It would be a while before I could admit to myself that all I was suffering from was a lack of love for me. I could have called it a hundred other things – A-type personality, codependency, over commitment, workaholic. But here’s the deal, when we love ourselves we value ourselves. We don’t allow ourselves to be abused, misused, or overused by anyone – including ourselves. I knew I needed to make a change. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it, but I made up my mind – I am Loving on Me! The minute I started sharing the notion with others I realized that there were many other women struggling with the same thing. It felt like we needed our own tribe, a safe place where we could tell the truth about what was happening in our world and get practical advice on how to make things better. Where we could be inspired and ignited to love ourselves enough to pursue the life of our dreams. I decided to start a blog to chronicle our journey – the good, the bad and the downright ugly. But that meant I was going to have to expose my own struggles and shortcomings too. Crap! What would people think if they knew? That short trip down anxiety lane made clear to me that Loving on Me is not a goal, nor is it a destination. Loving on Me is a lifestyle, an everyday intention to love our selves more. It wouldn’t always be easy, but it was doable. Since starting our tribe, thousands of women from around the globe have made the decision that I too am Loving on Me! Together, we have started a revolution, one rooted in an evolution in our thinking. No longer are we confined by the status quo. We are boldly pursuing our dreams, and becoming the women we were created to be. We are purposeful. We are persistent. We are – Loving on Me! Are you ready to join the revolution? ❤
1 Trackbacks & Pingbacks
Comments are closed.