— What men really feel about Love, Relationships, Women, Sex and MORE! —
There are countless books on men and relationships that analyze and interpret men’s feelings about intimacy from a clinical or therapeutic approach. However, there are very few books that actually highlight men’s points of view on this topic in an uncut, complete, raw and emotional way. Author, Therez Fleetwood, explores the complexities of relationships through the minds of men who give real, no holds barred answers to the questions that women want to ask.
There are many women who feel disconnected from their partner and desire to create a deeper bond. This book is for those who are seeking to understand why men do the things they do when it comes to intimacy-related acts. Oftentimes, women spend countless hours asking other women for advice on their relationships when they should be going directly to the source. Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers is the source. What you will discover is what men really think about intimacy, women, relationships, sex, love, cheating, and pornography.
As ‘Gordon’ the Behavioral Therapist stated in “Men’s Last Words,” “I think the book project is necessary. These issues are real. They are not discussed, but they are prevalent and I think anything that provides a porthole, particularly for men of color, to express themselves, is freeing in and of itself. I find that other races have a platform to express themselves whereas men of color do not and the family nucleus is suffering as a result thereof.”
Over fifty men, between the ages of thirty and sixty, share their voices and their viewpoints to offer us untapped information in which most of them have never openly revealed before. The men interviewed range in professions from actors to ministers, to newscaster and ex-marines, and almost any profession in between. The questions asked in this book are probing and the answers are direct. Whether you are married or single, female or male, this book will open up a pathway to conversation and exploration.
In Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers you will learn; Do men really want intimacy? What do men find sexy in a woman? Do men get bored with sex? Why do men cheat? What are the most important things to men in a relationship? What types of women are men really looking for? … and much MORE!
This book was not written to point fingers or blame men in any way. It was written to allow men to be fully self-expressed. It will also help men find their voice of self-expression as they read and connect with the different answers provided by this diverse group whose statements may resemble their own. My hope with Men and Intimacy, Real Talk, Real Answers is that couples use these questions as a guide to help discover intimacy within each other through honest conversations and begin their journeys of creating intimacy together.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Therez Fleetwood launched her first company under the label of PheZula Collection, dressing celebrity clients such as Angela Bassett, Vanessa Williams, Yolanda Adams, Kim Coles and Queen Latifah as well as gift designer for Avon Products. She designed the only Kente cloth costumes worn by Mickey and Minnie Mouse at Disney World. She is also the author of the national best seller, The Afrocentric Bride, A Style Guide (ISBN 0-9727519-1-2). For the past twenty-five years, Therez has been catering to brides and grooms around the world and it is her experience in working with couples that has provided her the abundance of information to launch this platform of conversation and discovery. Therez has been a guest on several television shows including the Today Show, Good Day New York and the Dallas Morning News and her work has been on display at the City Museum of New York and Fashion Institute of Technology. She has also worked as a life coach in the field of self-expression and leadership and is the former owner of Therez’s Playhouse, which provided couples with ways to rekindle the romance, intimacy and bliss in their relationships.
A quick peek inside the book
What Is Intimacy to Men? – Page 10
Intimacy to me is when the mind, body, spirit, and soul of two individuals collide on an emotional level. I’ve been intimate and I did not have a connection. I was close to someone but I did not have an emotional connection and I’ve been close to women and I haven’t had a spiritual connection. I feel when I am truly intimate and when our energies collide in such a way where we are desiring to go to the same place, and that’s just not the climax but the journey to it, then a lot of things are happening. Being a minister and a prophet, I believe that when we have sex or when we become intimate, our spirits become entangled. – GORDON
Men Feel Love Too – Page 18
For me, the times I was in love, it felt like a pain in my heart. The type of pain I would feel if I was losing that person… it was almost like a mini heart attack. It is like missing that person and feeling as though the blood stopped flowing to my heart or something, it’s a serious pain. I can’t fake it. The times that I had been in love that pain had physically happened to me because I felt it in my heart. – OMARI
Men and Communication – Page 45
I don’t always communicate my needs because I don’t want to be needy. My appearing not to be needy I think goes back to the way I was raised where the man is supposed to be taking care of everything. I would prefer to be giving more than I am receiving. Giving more love then receiving it, is just something I grew up with. – GIANNI
Do Men Really Want Intimacy? – Page 51
Yes, I would want true intimacy because most of my life I’ve played the field. Most of my life I’ve committed infidelities and I would love to have a strong bond where I don’t desire or think about any other woman, but the woman that I’m with. I freed myself. I wasted so much time thinking the grass is greener somewhere else or just thinking that that’s what a man is supposed to do when it’s not. – DARRELL
Men Understanding Women – Page 67
This may sound shallow, but I would ask how important is sexual intimacy to her in a relationship? Because me being who I am, sex is important in a relationship and I wouldn’t want to lose that spark. I think it is healthy, I think it keeps the relationship strong. Intimacy keeps you in love and it keeps it all together. People may think it is such a shallow question, but I bet 80% or 90% of the people who want to ask that question, would all agree that they want to know how the sex is going to be for the rest of their lives together. –LEE K.
Can Men Be Loyal? – Page 90
The way a woman keeps a man is to stroke his ego, affirm his strengths and be complimentary… that’s all the lion wants to hear. As the king of the castle, I want to know that I’m doing a decent job being a provider and taking care of her needs. – MAURICE
Can Women Strengthen Men? – Page 101
Oh yeah! My wife made me stronger as a man. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be where I am right now because I was out being a man hoe and not focusing on my future. I was just focusing on having fun. I was ready to settle down and I found someone who was compatible for me. – DORIAN
The Pain Men Feel After a Breakup – Page 111
Yes, I’ve been in love where I was head over heels about her and could not think about anyone else but that person. When we broke up it was one of the most miserable feelings in my life actually. It made me sick. It made me very depressed. It even made me have fleeting thoughts of –“if I were not alive anymore it would be better”. I was feeling this way for about 3-4 months but that lingering feeling, to a smaller degree, has stayed with me for almost my entire life. –D. NICE
Why Do Men Talk During Sex? – Page 121
I think it works both ways for men and women. Women do a lot of hooping’ and hollering’ to try to get the guy to finish up and on the flip side the guy says a lot of stuff to make sure he’s going to get his. Each person has an agenda, he wants to bust a nut and she wants to be done with it. So he’s saying this to make sure she doesn’t pull back before he gets his and she’s trying to finish up quickly. – CLYDE
Why Women Stop Having Sex – Page 136
Sometimes women use sex as punishment, which is totally the wrong thing to do to a man. If she shuts it down, she’s just begging for a man to go out and find somebody else to have sex with. – WESLEY
Why Men Watch Porn – Page 139
Yes, of course I watch porn! My mind is constantly thinking about sex. It’s like stepping out into the sun and feeling the sun’s rays on you. It’s the same thing with sex for a guy. It’s like we’re sitting around and we say “hey, I want to go outside for a minute”. – MALCOLM
Do Men Get Bored With Sex? – Page 153
Do I get bored with sex? No. Do I get bored with sex with one person… hell yeah! But it doesn’t have to be. I wouldn’t get bored with sex with the same person if she would be more involved and if she wanted to take it to the next level and be creative. My sex life now is almost null and void but whenever I have sex, it’s me performing all the acts and she just lays there. I feel like I’m a charity case. Like she wears a watch and sets a timer and say “I’ll give you three minutes”. I do what I do because I don’t get it. I got five minutes, so it might be the only five minutes that I get for the next few months so I say “fuck it!” It isn’t going to be great but at least I get some. – TRAVIS
Men’s Last Words: RELATIONSHIPS – Page 157
There are men with money who find the best looking woman that they can find with a nice ass nice pair of tits and they marry her because she fits the look they want. Now they have the nice car and the nice looking woman. Five years later into the relationship, he now finds out that that booty actually has a personality, and he realizes he doesn’t even like the personality and now he’s in too deep. Now he’s got a kid, child support, and alimony to destroy him. They live in a house that is partitioned off where they don’t even enter in the same door so they don’t have to see each other. They live in the same house but she does her thing and he does his. – TYRESE
Men’s Last Words: WOMEN – Page 168
Women use their pussy to get men, not realizing that if they use their brain they would get them and keep them. Women think that all I’m after is what’s between their legs. They don’t realize that the first couple of weeks I’m trying to see if they are psychopaths or not. Usually women are the first ones when we are out on a date having a good time, to bring up sex. – JASON
Men’s Last Words: SEX – Page 173
A lot of men are afraid of asking to have some of their fantasies satisfied by a companion because they are afraid that the answer may be “no”. So what they do is go outside of the relationship and have some woman they meet in a bar or somebody else satisfy their inner desires or tendencies. In my case, I felt that my wife made me feel like a pervert for asking for what I want. My wife would say “I’m already married, I don’t do that anymore.” So a lot of men walk around and they see a pretty woman, and it’s ok to stare and look, and they think “man, I would like to get into her…” because they fantasize about these things and a lot of men can’t talk openly about this stuff because they are considered to be a pervert. – SOLOMAN