By Dr. Shanessa Fenner
“You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building one another up, instead of tearing each other down.” ~ Author unknown
I love being a black woman. No one will ever change my mind. From our beautiful skin tones of caramel to mahogany and our curvaceous bodies, black women are the epitome of beauty. We have a long history of being devalued, ignored, ridiculed, stereotyped, called ugly, promiscuous, invisible to society, and the list goes on, yet we are resilient and continue to rise and shine in our many talents and unique ways.
Sisterhood is an amazing bond between two black women who truly know, honor, and love each other like sisters. It is saddening to think about how some black women treat one another. Why is it so hard for some black women to experience true sisterhood? Jealousy and insecurity is the root of the issue. The cattiness and rude comments can really be harsh and insulting. We have got to stop using the
“b” word to define ourselves or one another. There is nothing rewarding about the word. Black women are already talked about in a negative light and it is portrayed in reality TV shows, the media, songs that demean us, and other venues. We need to network and build better friendships. We live in a world where we are not celebrated, often ignored, and criticized about everything that we do which is why we need to make sure that we are not doing this to one another. Instead of finding flaws in one another, find positivity and the beauty in your Sistas. Compliment and uplift them. It does not cost a thing.
Our young and impressionable black females emulate us so we have to be careful of the ways in which we present ourselves. If we fight, argue, throw drinks, and pull hair then they will do it too and think that it is acceptable. This is not the standard that we want to set for them. We want to show them that we can get along and sustain positive female friendships. We can learn so much from one another because everyone has a testimony. It is up to us to make things right. We can do this.
So stop walking by one another without speaking, rolling your eyes, and stop comparing yourself to females when you meet them. It is not a competition. We are blessed with different talents and skills. Just imagine if we could get together and share our many diverse talents and establish our own network. There is strength in numbers.
Black women rock! Start today by building positive relationships with other black women. If you can help someone, support them, or encourage them, then do so. Please listen to my message and embrace it my beautiful sistas. We are the principle purveyors of morality for the black race. We are all that we have and can depend on when everyone else walks away from us. It is time to continue building a positive legacy and a united front for our future females. There is power in sisterhood.
Dr. Shanessa Fenner is an elementary principal, writer, and TV/radio show host. She loves to read and write about issues that are controversial and uncomfortable to others. She has written pieces for Essence.com, Heart & Soul Magazine, Jetmag.com and many other publications.