The Doubt That Broke Me Open: A Personal Introduction to Coaching

By Deirdre L. Jones-Lowman, Ph.D, M.B.A., ACC

There was the doubt—the kind that lingers in the shadows of motherhood and marriage. The questioning that creeps in late at night: Am I doing enough? Am I enough?

Professionally, the self-doubt was just as consuming. Imposter syndrome settled into my skin like a second layer, hard to shake, harder to ignore. I was showing up, doing the work—leading, advising, coaching—but inside, I often felt fractured and unseen.

Doubt is not a whisper. It can roar. It is self-defeating, unrelenting, and—at times—paralyzing. Especially when it is compounded by the chaos of the world: a national election that exposed the worst of us, wars overseas and within, the war at home against social media, gun violence, and young Black boys like mine who are profiled, preyed upon, and dismissed before they have a chance to become.

My spirituality was tested. My physical body wore the stress. My emotional resilience was hanging by threads. Mentally, I was unraveling. I felt hurt. I was angry. I was disappointed. I felt abandoned—gaslit by leadership, disrespected by an employer who failed to see or support me. Psychological safety in the workplace was non-existent. Passive aggression and microaggressions became my daily companions.

And yet, I performed. I was a senior class advisor, National Honor Society advisor, educator, cheerleader, and advocate—not only for my students, but also for my children: one also an educator and the other as a graduating senior. I did all of this while surviving in a space that questioned my authenticity. I was advocating for my son to not become a statistic. Spiritually, I was battle-tested. I found myself praying with urgency, pleading for release from the grip of anxiety and control. I cried—exhausted, drained—but clung to the faith that if I had even a mustard seed’s worth, God could still move mountains. I re-learned what true friendship means: not offering platitudes like “It will get better,” but showing up. Checking in. Not weekly, but daily. Because some days, getting to tomorrow felt impossible.

It was in these moments—broken open—that I realized how coaching was not only something I offered others, but something I was living. Coaching saved me, because it reminded me of my own agency. It reconnected me with my values, my strengths, and my purpose. And it is from this place—tested, transformed, and still becoming—that I coach others.

Coaching as a Bridge: From Surviving to Becoming

Out of that storm—where self-doubt, spiritual fatigue, and systemic disappointment converged—I began to understand coaching not as a profession, but as a calling. Coaching is not about having all the answers. It is about helping others ask the right questions. It is about holding space so people can rediscover their agency, their vision, and their strength—especially when the world seems intent on dimming their light.

Executive, life, and leadership coaching are not separate endeavors. They are threads of the same tapestry, all rooted in a foundational belief: people are whole, resourceful, and capable of growth. When clients come to me—whether they are CEOs, educators, parents, or emerging leaders—they are not broken. They may feel fractured, yes, but they are not beyond repair. Coaching does not “fix” people. It invites them to reframe their narratives and reclaim their power.

My work is grounded in science. Positive psychology, as developed by scholars like Martin Seligman and Barbara Fredrickson, tells us that well-being, meaning, and resilience are not luxuries. They are essential elements of a thriving life. Coaching provides the space to cultivate those elements intentionally. The strengths-based approach, pioneered by Gallup’s CliftonStrengths and echoed in the work of Marcus Buckingham, shifts our focus away from deficits and toward what is already working. In a culture that constantly tells us what we lack, this is radical. Coaching invites us to lean into our strengths—not as excuses, but as levers for transformation. We do not ignore weaknesses. We contextualize them. And we double down on the talents that fuel excellence. Motivation theory, particularly Deci and Ryan’s

Self-Determination Theory, has reshaped how I coach. According to their research, people are most motivated when they experience autonomy, competence, and relatedness. These are not just academic terms; they are human needs. Coaching honors this by creating brave spaces where people can set goals that align with their values, build the skills to achieve them, and feel seen and supported in the process.

For me, coaching became a mirror and a map. It reminded me that even when I felt stuck, I was still in motion. It helped me move from surviving to becoming. And now, I offer that same mirror and map to others.

Because when you have lived through doubt, you do not take clarity for granted. When you have questioned your worth, you understand the value of being affirmed. And when you have felt silenced, you know what a gift it is to be heard.

Call To Action

If any part of my story resonates with you—whether you are navigating personal doubt, professional uncertainty, or simply feel misaligned with your purpose—I invite you to consider coaching. Not as a luxury, but as a lifeline. Coaching is not reserved for executives at the top of their game. It is for anyone ready to reconnect with their voice, their vision, and their values.

Coaching is not therapy, though it can be deeply therapeutic. It is not mentorship, though it can be deeply instructive. Coaching is a partnership—one that centers your goals, your growth, and your ability to choose differently. You may be showing up for everyone else. You may be excelling on the outside while unraveling on the inside. You may be praying for clarity, for rest, for something to feel like yours again.

Start there.

Bring your weariness. Bring your hope. Bring your uncertainty. Coaching welcomes it all.

And if you are wondering whether it really works—whether someone can help you navigate the complexities of leadership, life, and self—then I leave you with this:

I am still here.

I am still leading.

I am still learning.

And I am still becoming.

Because coaching did not rescue me.

It reminded me I already had what I needed. So do you.

Take Charge, Move Forward!

Deirdre L. Jones-Lowman, Ph.D, M.B.A., ACC is an Award-winning Educator, Impactful Executive, Life, & Leadership Coach| Organizational Development Strategist | DEIB & Human Capital Thought Leader

About Coach Deirdre

Dr. Deirdre Jones Lowman is a dynamic motivational speaker, thought leader, and Executive/Leadership coach with a passion for engaging communities and empowering individuals. She is a social justice
advocate having partnered with local and regional human services, for-profit and non-profit organizations to advocate for fair housing rights, unemployment, youth empowerment, women’s rights, and self-care. Deirdre is an ACC Certified Coach (ACC) through the International Coaching Federation. She earned a her PhD. in Human and Social Services Administration at Walden University, where in 2020 and 2009, she successfully completed her Master of Philosophy in Human Services and Master of Business Administration with Honors, in Strategic Human Resource Management, respectively. She also graduated with Honors from Knoxville College, a historically black college located in Knoxville, TN. with a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication and English.

As women leaders, we have dreams and professional aspirations that tend to become waylaid especially when parenthood is added. Women consistently seek the elusive work-life balance in pursuit of having it all. It is “the pursuit” that disempowers us, having to choose between real life responsibilities and what we want and who we want to become. I began coaching to give women their power back. Knowing your value, is the first act of self-care. Self-care is an act of selfishness and self-preservation. Self-care is knowing yourself, believing in yourself, and advocating for yourself. As a social entrepreneur, wife, mother, and student, Deirdre recognized the importance of taking care of one’s self and in 2016, started The Pay It Forward Initiative Coaching and Mentoring Service, a 100% female-owned, M/WBE-certified career and life management coaching practice, as a self-care and mental health movement for working women which offers professional coaching, mental wellness, and consulting services to organizations and individuals who are ready to Take Charge and Move Forward!

As Managing Director and Founder of the Pay It Forward Initiative Life Coaching and Mentoring Service, a career and life management practice, Deirdre currently holds active memberships in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated; National Organization of Human Services; the International Coaching Federation and the American Psychological Association.