By: Rene Mondy
Dear John The Box has launched a stream of services that focus on female friendship and post-breakup support. We learn so much about ourselves during the trials and tribulations of a breakup. We learn about our expectations and who our true friends are.
Founder Rene Mondy knows first-hand how valuable friendships can be for the women who is starting over after experiencing a divorce or break-up of her own.
She offers the following tips when supporting a friend who is going through a breakup.
- Be authentic. Consistency is so important when healing from breakup. Remember you were chosen to be a part of their inner circle for a reason; they trust and admire you for who you are. Don’t be afraid to refer them to others who are qualified to answer when you feel unequipped to answer a question.
- Show them new ways to love. Breakups force us to change, and we often perceive the bad as outweighing the good. Friends can help change this with reminders of what we love and what it is doing to help us recover. For instance, when a friend who getting over an ex who cheated, tells you they love their new journal, remind them to use it, check in to see how it’s helping.
- Show them connections. We learn so much about ourselves during relationship transitions. Breakups remind me of a quilt: connecting one piece of our lives to the other. Some connections are not easy to see when you’re going through it. Friends can help connect those dots to achieve the life that’s desired. For instance, when you notice a friend who often did what was asked of them by an ex partner, their kids, and co-workers without considering their own needs, help them realize how deserving they are of a fulfilling relationship, and how considering how a commitment impacts their own needs could help them attract better relationships in the future.
- Help them check their fears, and your own fears too. The biggest obstacle in breakup recovery is “fear” in my experience. It’s important for friends to understand that some reactions to advice may be out of fear, and that’s okay. Fear of being wrong, fear of starting over, fear of loss, etc. Staying connected to your own feelings, and remaining as transparent as possible about them has been most helpful to my clients.
- Don’t be afraid to maintain boundaries. Knowing your own limits when it comes to your physical, mental, spiritual wellbeing is critical.
At the end of the day, sometimes all you can do for a friend is simply there. Be a friend. Listen. Try to create a fun, light atmosphere for them as they transition. Above all, remember that your friend is entering a new life chapter and many things will change. Keep perspective and trust that people evolve many times in life.
ABOUT DEAR JOHN:
Dear John The Box: the first, black-owned post-divorce, post-breakup subscription box with handpicked self-care products to show your friends a little love. With women in mind, Dear John creates products that make women laugh out loud, feel self-love, and connected to others after a breakup.
Dear John The Box also serves as a popular online store offering handpicked post-breakup products for women and it will, excitingly, launch the first gift registry designed exclusively for women after a breakup, divorce, or separation this February! We register for our wedding, our baby shower, and sometimes when we buy a new home – why can’t we register for our breakup too? So many times, women have to start from scratch if there’s a change in living situations.
The registry offers women who experience a breakup a positive digital space to go to relax while experiencing a crisis and everyday stress. It’s a cozy corner prepped just for them; filled with hundreds of curated items, from kitchenware for a new home to self-love and wellness products. The registry offers what they need when they need it most. The Founder believes many women are too embarrassed or overwhelmed to ask for things they really want or need when starting over. She thinks the registry is a breakthrough opportunity for these women to feel more at ease expressing themselves and, in turn, better their chances of gaining the support they need.
RENE: Rene Mondy, LPC, is a privately practicing therapist in Atlanta, GA. She specializes in individual and group after -breakup recovery therapy. She is passionate about helping people find the strength, direction, and healing to navigate and overcome their difficult situations.
Rene has over 10 years of experience working in mental health. Rene brings her passion for love of learning and personal growth to the people she works with. From her own divorce years ago, she learned first-hand that not all relationships can be saved or should continue. And she knows first-hand the multitude of emotions one can go through when facing something so life changing. With her extensive experience providing women individual and group therapy, she is particularly passionate about walking with women through all the stages of a breakup, including deciding if that is the right next step, going through the process of separation, and creating a new successful beginning. She uses her extensive experience as a therapist to help you navigate relationship transitions. Breakups can feel isolating, scary, and overwhelming. You don’t have to manage all of the emotions alone.
Rene spends her free time with her super fun two sons and husband, as well as cooking, reading, and traveling.