What is your profession?
I’m a lawyer by trade but have served as a lawyer, compliance officer, strategist and executive in the financial services industry for over 20 years. I currently manage an executive consulting firm and provide legal services in the digital asset space.
When you hear your name as Dad, Father, Pops, etc. what do you feel?
My son calls me Papa. It’s an uplifting feeling to hear my son speak that word. It’s the most important title that I’ve ever held while at times being the most challenging role that I’ve ever held. My son is growing up in a very different world and time than I did and trying to ensure that his childhood is a happy and balanced one in the face of all that’s happened in the world in the last 3 years has been overwhelming at times.
What has been the greatest joy of fatherhood?
The greatest joy of fatherhood for me so far has been watching my son find his own voice and identity. More than anything, I want my son to grow into a well-adjusted adult with a strong foundation and sense of self. It’s rewarding to see that foundation beginning to take root.
What do you feel that you can do to be a better father?
I wish I had more time. Trying to be too many things to too many people (career, family, etc.) limits sometimes the amount of time and singular focus that I can give to my son and that creates guilt and angst at times because I feel I may be missing moments or opportunities to enjoy moments in time that I won’t get back later in life. I could be better about managing my time as it relates to my own life to better benefit my son.
What has been the most meaningful lesson you learned from you child/children?
One of the most meaningful lessons that I’ve learned from my child is patience. Before my son was born, my life moved at a different pace and since he’s been in this world – I’ve been much more patient with people, processes and setbacks. I realize that I’m a walking role model for him and he’s absorbing so much by watching how I handle adversity so I’ve become more patient both out of necessity and intent to provide him a better example.
What keeps you so motivated when things get challenging?
My motivation is driven by a desire to ensure that my son has a happy childhood and solid foundation. Knowing that so much of his life is impacted by my ability to provide, support and parent him means that I have to show up for him and not allow circumstances or adversity to keep me from being the kind of father that I want to be to him.
How much alike are you to your father in fatherhood?
Very different. I’ve learned certain lessons from my own challenging relationship with my own father and the impact that it had on my brother and myself as things to be mindful of with my own son. The importance of being present and the importance of prioritizing my son are things that I learned from not having those things in my own childhood in my relationship with my own father.
What is the most challenging aspect of being a father?
Wondering if you’re doing a good job. Your child is growing and developing while you’re parenting and pouring into them but they have to live their life and go out into the world every day. You can’t protect them from the world and experiences and that’s hard at times. Knowing you can’t protect your child from danger, pain and disappointment but praying that the tools you’re providing them with will allow them to successfully navigate those challenges.
What do you feel your legacy will be?
When I’m gone, I hope that my son feels that he had a good father. I hope that I’ve done enough good with my life that my son is proud of the man that his father was along with feeling like I was a good father to him. That he was loved and supported unconditionally.
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