By Veronica Marie
We all are encouraged to “trust yourself” and I am definitely a proponent of self-trust. Even though I am a proponent of self trust, here’s what I know, there are times when you should not trust yourself. When I say “self”, I am referring to immediate impulses, thoughts and judgments that lead to behavior.
Here are three moments where you should not trust yourself:
When you have unresolved past emotional pain.
Unresolved and unexamined pain will cause you to interpret present situations in ways that are not true to reality. You will then draw conclusions, make assumptions and have expectations that do not align with reality.
Example: You are used to being yelled at by parents followed by punishment. You and your partner get into a heated argument. You assume they are like your parents. You expect to be punished. In response to the fear, you become defensive and avoidant of conversation because the fear of the past is permeating your present experience.
When you are in emotional pain.
You can trust that the pain is telling you something about your belief systems and your experience of other people’s actions. However, to be sure, logic will have to be applied in order to give an accurate assessment.
Example: You’re in a bad mood. Your partner slams the door. You feel agitated and you conclude that they are inconsiderate. You remember all of the times they’ve been inconsiderate. You say this to them in frustration. This scenario is not a time to trust these ideas. You can trust that you are in a mood. You can trust that the door was closed loudly. We can not trust the judgement that the person is inconsiderate. Any behavior or conclusion based upon the judgment would be more about your bad mood than what actually happened.
When you are in fear. Many times, fear can magnify doubts and concerns. You can trust that you have doubts and concerns. These are valid. Fear helps you pinpoint what you need more or less of. However, fear also, may be creating a mental image of a huge painful outcome when things could work out in your favor. Take time to understand the fear. Apply truth.
Trusting yourself is important. There are still times that you should not trust yourself. If you want to confidently trust yourself, you must get to know deeply how emotional pain, fear and past pain can affect your thoughts and behaviors’. Then you may be able to decipher more which will lead to more self-trust.
If you need help with any emotional pain, coaching is available at
About
Coach Veronica Marie is an Emotional Wellness Coach Specializing in Shadow Work and Feminine Wisdom. She is passionate about helping people live a healthier and happier life . Her podcasts and works can be found on platforms such as Apple Music, Audible, Spotify, Youtube and More!
VeronicaMarie.com
